Last but not least

Well I think this is it for the archives.  I have had a really great time writing on this blog, and I think it kept me sane for a little while.  For you that have read it so often, and made me see that some people like to read fun, meaningless stuff - thanks so much.   I am going to take a few weeks off, and hopefully recharge my creative batteries.  I have an idea for a new blog that could possibly become more interactive.  I liked this one, but I did not get much feedback, or many comments.   I think a more communal blog could be really interesting where we could build on one another's ideas and information.  

One last poem.

I could not help but laugh at the grass growing so green,
The bounce in her step.
I could not help but feel a little thrill as all those birds swam through the air,
so many, and yet they seemed so linked with their twists and turns, dives and jumps.
I could feel it on my feet and ankles - how could I not laugh?
Do you have the warm feeling of contentment way down in your belly sometimes?
The one that happens when you smell carnival food.
I smiled all over at the sight of the dogwoods.  They looked like snow was all piled up,
or else they were like exploding fireworks that were paused in mid-beauty.
I just cannot help but be happy.  I mean what else can the luckiest kid in the whole world do?
 I try to be humble, but it just bubbles over.



Be great

T or F

True or False:

1. Life is ordinary?
2. Our cells are really musicians, we are music?
3. You said hello to, and looked into the eyes of everyone you passed on the street today?
4. You took the night off your tv programs to watch the stars?
5. Nature has been so inspiringly beautiful that it made you smile?
6. You had fun brushing your teeth today?
7. You wanted to build a fort out of pillows and blankets lately?
8. You wanted to have a party with snacks, a fire, and a lot of not too loud conversation?
9. The universe is really big, and this makes you feel great?
10.  You smiled because...well just because?

I wanna too

Done and Done

I finished getting everything ready for the show today about an hour before the opening.  I am glad it is over.  I really put a lot of work into this, and it was nice to see my efforts completed.

I know that I have been talking a lot about getting more sleep, and I am very serious about this.  I have slept little over the past week, and I feel like a different person.  Needless to say I like my character better when I sleep a lot.  If I were doing this project still I would make a block about sleep.  Maybe it would be a squishy, pillowy block.

twas the night before...

Tomorrow the fever ends.

I am excited to start sleeping more.

Time

I gathered beauty all around me today,

like a drug my days are beginning to revolve around such experiences.

I long to sit and see, to notice.

Slowly, slowly.
raining a lullaby.
All those little drips, and drops.
Tonight they put me to sleep.

I will receive the ancient messages in my dreams.

Tomorrow I shall trade the secrets I have learned.  

I am in love with nature.

little to say

two song lyrics I have always liked:

"rejoice, rejoice we have no choice....but to carry on."

- CSNY

"we never failed to fail, it was the easy thing to do."
- CSN

Count down

So a few days left to tie up loose ends before the show.  I am having so much fun and am so grateful to have the opportunity to make, and think about art everyday.

I worked with my studio mate Erica today to learn how she uses her drawing style to create cutesy drawings for her pots.  I had a lot of fun, it was nice to get into her space and see how she works, and this type of work is so far out of my usual habits that it was a nice change of pace.   Erika likes to draw kitties and birds, while I like to draw little dudes.

This collaboration made me think about how great it is to interact with so many energized people.  I am amazed to think how complex we are as individuals, as well as how much I could learn from others, and about them if I would take more time to do so.  I imagine that there needs to be a level of openness in regards to how we interact on both sides, but that I could make a bigger impact if I tried a little more readily.  The idea brings up a lot of possibilities, and makes me want to interact in a slower, more deliberate way.

All mixed up

The days smoothly glide by.  Nothing new ever happens except everything.
I will never feel the breeze on my skin enough.
Today was so tricky.  I felt the excitement of spring and the wonderful melancholy of fall.

When I slow down time I am never disappointed.
As I gaze at the carpet I cannot help but laugh at its beauty.
I never take the time to be amazed by my carpet.
 I stare at the ceiling and my life is complete.
 The music floats across the space like clouds, the lyrics transport me to new lands.
Lands of an infinite, open field with slowly swaying grasses all spacious, and quiet.


If you have time please look up the musician Gregory Alan Isakov.  I think your life will be better for doing so.

Spring

I just cannot help myself in trying to somehow share and explain such overwhelming experiences.

What kind of gold can compare to the scents of spring?
Their perfumes so intoxicating, so liberating.
Who would trade such experiences for mere trinkets?
To be intoxicated by smells into the reality of memories and dreams,
who I ask would trade the freshness of air, and clearness of mind?
And so Spring begins to show its wonders - and we cannot help but be persuaded by such riches.



If you ask the god of spring where the flowers come from even it does not know.
                                                            -tibetan proverb

Daydream

There I was, up on that sunset.
As the atmosphere curled over the horizon so did I.
Those oranges and pinks are my heart,
those blues, and shifting grays my mind.
I expand exponentially, limitless, uncontained.
The opacity of clouds that hold onto the colors of the dying day slide through me,
I shrink back down to earth, my feet now feel the ground, but my eyes stay up in that space,
never to return.

TY

My roommate is a younger guy who is really adventuresome, and a bit wild.
He has been going camping the last few weekends, and today he told me that his grades are sliding a bit because of this.  I wondered about this.

Is it more important for Ty to study all weekend and get perfect grades in school?  Are his memorizing a bunch of facts going to make him a better, more informed person, or is his going camping and having that experience a better way of learning?  So my question is:  Is life a better teacher?  Should Ty worry about getting B's.  Who is really looking at these grades?

I just wonder about what type of people we want to be, and what our goals should be as educators?

I realize that these questions in the end come down to us as individuals, and of course that a mix of both worlds is important, but I think as questions they are super important.  I do not mean for there to be an answer to these questions either, but when I talk to Ty I want to tell him to go camping.

shake it off

Today was the day for sure.  People were out and about, I could feel happiness on the air as we all shook off the cobwebs of winter.  You have to love a good spring soul cleaning.  On my ride to school something really funny, and a bit embarrassing happened.
I was riding on this little road, the sun was streaming down, I was listening to music, and the wind was so refreshing against my skin.  I was enjoying myself so much, goofing, and playing on my bike.  I kept swerving to the beat of the music, I was letting my arms stretch up, and spreading my fingers wide to feel the breeze.  I was really having a great time and then I happened to look behind me and there was a car having to go really slow because I was taking up the whole road.  I had no idea, and I have no idea how long they were behind me, but they were laughing like crazy.  I just waved and looked sheepish.

Happiness 9

After reading over my student's meaning papers I was both surprised in some cases, and inspired.  Most spoke to the importance of others, happiness, enjoyment and a few gave praise to ol' Jesus.  Here are a few samples that strayed from the pack.

Mary Beth = "If we spend our whole lives looking for ourselves we miss out on living."

Sophia = (in terms of heaven) "I can't get into that, its like living to die."  
 "I think were crazy if we do not think we are affected by the stars, trees, or other living creatures."
"Just because humans have lost touch with nature does not mean that the connection does not exist."
"Time rules us, but I think life is about filling it, not spending it."

Bart = "All in a hurry to nowhere."    "All too fast to care."

Gabby =  "All you need is love."  "Our struggles make us stronger."

Julie = "Asking the question of what is happiness, and finding my own answer to its meaning."

Dani = "Everyone should be celebrated"

well

Patches of sunlight stretch across the room and land warmly on the floor.
The light of the room buoys me up.
Everything is so simple in moments like these.
the blue sky reminds of everywhere -
all things that are possible, and nothing at all.



The majesty of such a beautiful time trying to be explained through words makes a mockery of life.



                                                                                                           
                                                                            Decoration for the last day.  entitled: period

N Y by Lambros

Here is a poem by my friend Lambros.  I like it so much because it points so clearly to how our world view changes everything.

NY:

I wonder how a history book could possibly be true.

Life has a different edge from my point of view.

I love to look at people riding in the train.

So many people and they all have a name.

Plus a story that I just became part of,

They'll never recall it or think of it as love.

I look at them all and acknowledge a few.

My part in history, and now it's with you.

Lambros Tsuhlares

March 9

I am still working in the studio, and still trying to get all the loose ends tightened up.  I have lost the initiative of taking photos everyday, but am going to start again tomorrow.  I have really begun, as you might have noticed, to turn this blog into a place to spill the beans, so to speak, in the case of my inner life.

Here is a little outer life from today (with a bit of inner):

I had a conversation with a friend that impressed upon me the idea that our most notable experiences, as far as memories, and hopefully happy memories, come from our experiences with one another, and not from objects.  We had been talking about how, at least from my perspective, our society really pushes the importance of material goods (shiny car, big house, fancy clothes, ect...), and so this idea that our best memories have nothing to do with such things creates an interesting notion, as we work so hard to procure something that will have such a small impact on our selves, and our overall happiness.

 I hope it is understood that I do not think any of the ideas on this blog are answers for anyone but myself.  I in no way mean to present them as answers, but I want to share them because they fit me so well, and I was taught that sharing is good.

its simple

A breeze sneaks in through the window.  I welcome its touch on my face, and the scents of the coming spring it carries.  I peer out the rain streaked window, the overcast light does nothing to dampen my spirits as I watch the day slide past in each drop.   No great insights come, no profound meaning to take my life to some new, higher realm, just plain and simple beauty.

One more:

There is something on the breeze when you walk past.  I catch just a hint of your smell, it excites me with its unexplainable humanness and a hint of flowers.  There is something about the way your clothes fit, the way you move, and the way that same breeze messes up your hair in such a way that nothing else could.  I have not even started to speak about your voice, and yet I need not, because I want to talk about human.  That space between godliness, and dirt.  The way time wears us in, and we gain so much charm.  I will never know why my heart feels as it does, or how so much beauty can be contained in the most simple of acts of you being you.  No need to dress up, so perfect in everyday.

into night

A full moon rose golden off the horizon tonight.  I could not help but be captivated into inactivity.  Its ascent turned the sky a midnight blue, itself a pale white.  I felt calm, awed, quiet.   I could not help thinking about science, and the way in which our understanding can change the outlook on such things.  I am all for logic, but sometimes mystery, and miracles just feel so much better.

Fun

I have been working on designing a postcard for my show.  This is one of the rejected.  I was thinking about how to make the card fun in this case.

The show is March 20th, 6pm in the Laura Mesaros Gallery at the Creative Arts Center, WVU.

A new day at midnight

Being inside most of the day makes my bike ride home monumental.  I have noticed that I am often times writing about nature on here.  I think it is because of this outdoors experience before I settle down for the night, which is when I write this.  Imagine how boring it would be for me to tell you how beautiful my work table in the studio is.

I remember that paint splatter, and that oil stain too.  I am not sure where that chip in the wood came from, and all those razor thin exacto marks, I was cutting something for sure.  My life is in here - moments in time that add up all around me.  That is from a friend, and that I found outside during that rain storm.  I remember building that, and the day that they came over to visit and have tea.  We laughed so much about that story.  Here I am piling up around myself.  The trinkets of my life that tell such a profound story - one that can never be told.  Now as I look around, knowing that soon this will no longer be my home I wonder about all the time that has passed, and notice how it is engrained in my skin, and my heart.  I cry out a little at such loss, and yet something inside me knows that the horizon is never far.  

where to go from here

I have been having discussions (arguments for sure, cool, calm and collected, but good quality arguments without a doubt) with a friend about her belief in the Christian notion of god, and my belief in fence posts, and the unknown.
Here is a little poem inspired by such talks.

I believe in god during a hot shower, and right when I crawl into bed - the covers all warm and cozy.
I believe god lives in my teacup.  god must ride a bike to school, and love smooth parking lots (god's parking lot probably has a lot more trees (I wonder if god has to peddle?)).  I believe god must live in chocolate.  If I were in a band I would want god to play the bass.  I would not want god to sing lead vocals, god probably gets enough chicks as it is.  I bet god loves comfortable socks just like me.  Do you think god gets bored answering prayers all day?  If I were god I would go on vacation every once in a while, to a really far away place in the universe.  I would also want to make some friends, and just hang out.  I would watch TV sometimes, and probably drink soda, and maybe even smoke a cigarette or two.  If I were god I would probably love everything that I love now, but I would fly around sometimes when nobody was looking, because I would not want to have people asking me for winning lottery tickets all the time.

another on the pile

Today was a good day.   I drank a lot of tea (my step had some spring), ate a lot of chocolate (a bit more spring), looked at the clouds, watched the moon for a bit, stared at the city lights, talked to my friends, rode my bike, laughed, phoned the fam, breathed in deep a few times, worked, cooked an amazing dinner, and remembered that i am the luckiest person in the world.   So many little things happen, and add up to create long days never to be described, or thought of at all.

I have 16 days to get the rest of my work done, and I think I can make it.

More me meaning

To add a little to my post from yesterday I would like to just say a little more about my idea on the purpose of life.  An assignment is an assignment

I have from time to time found a new reality.  Rarely?  Yes, but impressionable.
 The light is different.  Objects with potential, meaning.  The body is lighter and the feeling is high, neither separate nor part of.  Some say, eternity, enlightenment, grace, spirituality, truth, happiness, love, some say bingo.
I revel in this mindset, a miracle, and try my utmost to always do so.

Kevin Z. = meaning to me

Kevin Z is a famous author you will have yet to recognize.  Here is a sample of his meaning/purpose

he took his time, like one who has the time to search for themselves, sliding his worn doc marten boots along the frayed persian rug, creaking the ancient wooden floors as he moved about the narrow aisles. light poured through small windows where spider plants crawled wildly, encouraging their babies to play in the dust that swirled around them. a few other customers milled about studiously and he made eye contact with them long enough, and nodded to reveal his genuine friendliness.


click on the highlighted words for a deeper view of Kevin's mind.

Some more of his work is at:
                         
                           http://blather.newdream.net/red/c/cadeau_de_vous.html
            and    
                           http://blather.newdream.net/cgi-bin/blather/edition=red?who;name=cuckoobird

the purpose of no purpose

So this idea of meaning/purpose of life is really interesting because we, in my opinion, get to choose our own individual meanings.  The Universe from my vantage point seems to have little direction.  How freeing it is to enjoy the freedom of spending what seems like limitless amounts of time trying to enjoy life.  We have these amazing bodies that are capable of so much, and this amazing planet with so many things to learn and see.  Couple these two things with the idea that the purpose of life is for no other reason than to enjoy it.  To just go along, to be amazed, to try our best at dealing with happiness and sadness, joy and hardship.  How interesting.  Then to try and get a bit more in-depth.  I think about what it means to be part of this whole system - in the middle of infinite space - Really?

Okay again I feel like my time is up - tomorrow I hope to go a little deeper.

Today's the Day

The purpose of my life today was to not get any work done in the studio.  I was so successful.

I received some feedback on my proposal for all the people I know to write a statement about what they think the meaning of life is, and it was not completely favorable.  Some people thought the idea sounded a little clique and old hat. 

My reasoning behind the assignment for my students (and myself) is to get them out of their normal mindsets, and to have them think a little about the choices they are making and where those choice possibly come from.  I would argue that we make many decisions in our daily lives based on our ideas about the purpose of life whether conscious of it or not.  At least I see this to be true in my own life

I am going to have to think long and hard about this idea of meaning/purpose.  

My initial thought is that the world is actually purposeless, and that we as individuals have the opportunity to create that purpose...hooray.  

Tomorrow I will go into more detail, but I fear that this post has reached its maximum length for utter enjoyment, and does not want to move into the realm of work.

Give a Little Bit

The time is ticking, ticking.

My students have to write a paper for next week dealing with what they think the meaning, or purpose of life is.  I am excited to write this paper too, because I am not sure that I exactly know what I think.  The exercise will be a nice way for me to take the time and think about it.

I am not sure how to make this more social, but maybe if you want to write your own statement on what you think the meaning of life is I would love to read it.  If I receive some maybe I could post some excerpts on here, which would be nice because then I would not need to try and come up with things to fill this space everyday.


I put together a sample of the blocks I have finished so far to see how they look.